How I Survived a Psychopath | Katrina Smith

Trigger Warning: This episode includes references and actual experiences of different types of abuse.

“Love comes when you least expect it.”

Says a common quote, and also a lesson Katrina Smith learned from her mom. It indeed came when she least expected it and when she didn’t want it. Coming from an abusive relationship with the father of her children, Katrina was in no right shape of mind when she entered a new relationship. She was still reeling from the trauma, but who wouldn’t be swayed by promises of forever and marriages and of being treated like a princess? Isn’t he prince charming?

Little did she know that an abusive person can very much disguise himself as prince charming. And a damsel, in the beginning, Katrina kept her eyes closed from all the red flags until she just woke up seeing that her fairytale ended in a nightmare.

This episode is a testament to how can one love you in a literal torturous way, and Katrina coming out alive of it is a big triumph against abuse.

Words of Healing

• I think my ultimate goal was I wanted to buy a multi-unit apartment complex or a house as a safe haven to try to help women who are ready to leave situations but couldn't go anywhere because, in my process of that attempt, I didn't have anyone. - Katrina Smith
• Abuse really messes with your head, and if it's someone who is calculated, and they know what they've been doing, and have a finesse to it, then you really don't even know what's going on until it's too late. - Katrina Smith
• My mom would always tell me that love would show up when you least expected it and when you don't want it. And I didn't want it. - Katrina Smith
• I hate to romanticize him, but he spoke like a romance novel. - Katrina Smith
• Everybody tells you about fight or flight, but they don't ever mention that you can become literally paralyzed from fear and not be able to think. - Katrina Smith
• I was terrified all the time. I did whatever he said. Whatever he wanted me to do, I would. - Katrina Smith
• I had a bunch of nurses charge into my room like they were ready to fight this guy. I was like, “This is what I needed the whole time.” I just needed a tribe of people willing to defend my then weak-minded self who couldn't defend myself. - Katrina Smith
• I've been living in the same place for five years consistently, which is a huge feat for me. I feel safe. I'm not in survival mode anymore. - Katrina Smith
• Now I can really filter what I allow into every part of my brain and my home. I took control back. I felt so out of control for so long. - Katrina Smith
• My value as a person isn't about what my body can do. - Katrina Smith

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Resource Mentioned

• American Psycho - May Harron (2000)