Understanding The Cycle of Abuse: The First Step to Healing (Part 1) | Dr. Char Newbold

Being in an abusive relationship is unquestionably a very dark place to be in, and can be a daunting void to get out of. For some victims of domestic violence, seeing light at the end of the tunnel seems impossible. But there are those who got to see a glimpse of hope that led them to the path of healing.

We celebrate the victories of these men and women who are now in their personal healing process, but at the same time, it is also essential to recognize what they went through – the stages they have been accustomed to and the cycle they have endured. That way, we can identify commonalities among experiences of domestic violence and perhaps understand differences among patterns as well.

By learning through the stories of others, we gain different perspectives and we get to take a closer look at the surfaces and layers of this dark and daunting void.

In this episode – which is the first of two parts – Dr. Char Newbold, a domestic violence survivor, advocate, and author among other things, bravely shares her own stories of enduring the cycle of abuse and thriving amidst the healing process. Through her experiences, Dr. Newbold relates how she went through the different stages of domestic violence – and how important it is to recognize and identify the emotions and triggers that come with every stage. 

Dr. Newbold’s openness and sincerity in talking about her experiences and sharing her knowledge will, hopefully, make you feel that listening to this podcast is very much like being in a support group. And yes, whether you are still in that dark tunnel or you are following the light and on your way out, know that there are other people who are on or have gone through the same path. But more importantly, know that there are people who are willing to provide help, support, and inspiration.   

Healing Points of This Episode:

• Recognizing abuse can be hard; you may get used to denying and minimizing the signs and triggers
• It may be difficult to talk about the experience of abuse, especially repeated circumstances,  to friends or family
• Commonalities about the cycle of abuse can be identified through different stories and experiences
• Abusers would try to make things better and would make promises to conceal red flags
• Wanting to save the relationship will make you ignore or minimize the red flags
• Recognizing the stages of abuse can help you end the cycle and lead you to the path of healing

Words of Healing:

• “...Life goes on and life doesn't just go on like mediocre,  you thrive.” - Regina Marie
• It's a scary place to be when you love someone and you want to point out what you see  with the fear – because there's fear involved – that you could, in essence, push that person away. - Regina Marie
• How did I move forward? How did I get to the place that I could thrive? My faith was always the firmest of anything. My faith in God grew. -Dr. Char Newbold
• Though stories are not identical, there are a lot of commonalities about the cycle of abuse. - Dr. Char Newbold

Resources Mentioned:

• The Church's Response to Domestic Violence
• I’m Not That Woman Anymore: A Journey to Healing from Abuse, Leader Guide

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