My Healing Village

Setting Boundaries is a Healthy Habit to Start

• Regina Marie • Season 1 • Episode 6

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So many experts and research on child growth and development would emphasize the significant role of primary caregivers in an individual’s holistic development. They can influence a child’s physical, socio-emotional, and mental aspects, among others. Children’s interactions with caregivers shape their childhood experiences and lead them to form narratives in their minds that later on become their ideals and beliefs as adults. 

Take a moment and reflect. How were you treated as a child? Were you allowed to take space in the household and speak your mind? Have you learned to acknowledge your emotions and express them without the fear of disappointing others? What narratives were you made to believe that molded you into the person you are now? These are just some of the questions you can ask to evaluate how your interactions through the years have allowed or hindered you to set boundaries in your relationships. 

Nonetheless, there is no justification for abuse and violence; whatever your past is or no matter who you are at present, it is not your fault if you are trapped in an abusive relationship. Your difficulties in setting boundaries should never be used as an excuse or reason to treat you unfairly. However, since you can only control your own actions, realize now that it is never too late to break down the walls you have built to protect yourself; and instead, learn to set some healthy boundaries that will allow you not only to heal but to improve your relationship with yourself and others. 

Healing Points of This Episode:

  • There are different types of boundaries – physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional.
  • When we fail to set boundaries, we start minimizing our individual needs. 
  • The cycle of not setting and respecting boundaries can be perpetuated into every relationship in our life. 

Words of Healing:

  • Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. – quoted by Regine Marie from Instagram
  • Boundaries are extremely important for healthy relationships and they're a huge part of the healing journey for many of us, yet they are something many people struggle with. – Regina Marie
  • As you express, so you experience. – Regina Marie
  • Toxic people view boundaries, or you setting boundaries as if you are holding a grudge. – Regina Marie
  • Their decision to either better themselves or not has no direct correlation or reflection about your own worthiness. – Regina Marie

Resources Mentioned:

Click this link for the full show notes:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t0vwLuxnlSHZOwnBzL02FOp8jeDBXJGoLkqny6xEc_c/edit?usp=sharing

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