My Healing Village
My Healing Village
What Shadow Work Reveals Within Us | Kevin Patterson
Sometimes, we don’t realize that we are in an abusive relationship because the people who create the toxic or even unsafe situations in our lives are the same people who provide most of our needs – physiological or psychological. And deep down, we know that we care and love these people dearly. Sometimes, with the desire of keeping them in our lives or making them happy, we tend to compromise our own needs and happiness.
In episode 6, I talk about how our relationships during childhood can be foundational to our socio-emotional development. The way we were treated as a child can be reflected in the way we view ourselves, how we treat others, and how we nurture relationships as adults. Since most children don’t have the language and mental capacity yet to process problematic and even toxic relationships, they tend to just move along in life with all the confusion, pain, and resentment that come with satisfying their need for love and connection.
It can be a generational struggle where the trauma and pain are perpetuated and passed on from our parents to us, and eventually to our children, and so on.
Nevertheless, we have the power to break the cycle.
Recognize the tools that you have which can help you understand better and will allow you to create a safe space for yourself and those you love.
One of my dearest friends, Kevin Patterson, will talk more about this topic in this episode as he dauntlessly shares his personal struggles growing up, and how he manages to make peace with himself – wholly embracing his light side and dark side and everything in between. Moreover, if you want to learn more about shadow work and how you can apply this in your healing process and in improving your relationships, then you definitely have to tune in to this enlightening episode!
Healing Points of This Episode:
- We have the power to break the cycle of generational trauma and toxicity.
- Dig deep and love yourself for who you genuinely are.
- Shadow work is allowing people to mirror back and reflect back on the parts of you that are looking for validation.
Words of Healing:
- If you think about a person as a whole being, we have our good sides and our dark sides; and shadow work is the sides that we push down because they're uncomfortable. They might not paint us in the best light, but if we don't pull them out and become friends with them, then they just kind of stay in the background. And they can infiltrate our thoughts, they can sabotage our relationships. – Kevin Patterson
- Whether or not [people] accept you, it is what it is. If you choose to leave your abusive situation and they react a certain way, it is what it is. You can't control them. You can't control their responses, but all you can do is focus on being true to who you are. – Regina Marie
Resources Mentioned:
Click this link for the full show notes:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cWEv32G66acQFZPH5JLg9PY7QkpY0BgHZ-S5BEeu78I/edit?usp=sharing
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