My Healing Village

The Love Bombing Phase

• Regina Marie • Season 1 • Episode 8

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“Abusers are notorious for rushing the first stage of intimacy. This phase is electric and full of promise. Survivors commonly recall being swept off their feet by a man more passionately interested in them than anyone had ever been before.”

― Jess Hill, See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence

Most people, if not all, have dreamt of finding that one true love at some point in their lives. Fairy tales with happy endings were introduced to most of us early on, and we started forming idealized versions of our own love stories since our childhood days. 

Because being in love has always been excessively romanticized, we oftentimes just focus on the positive feelings and notions that we were made to believe in. We embrace ideas such as feeling butterflies in your stomach, not being able to stop thinking about this person, or giving your all for someone you love – thinking that all of these things are non-negotiables if you are in love. It’s not wrong to acknowledge going through these experiences and be all ecstatic about romance. 

However, remember the good old saying, “too much of everything is poisonous.” Yes, it applies to love as well, especially if the kind of excessive love given to you is used to manipulate or cause you damage – whether emotional or in any other aspect. Most abusive or toxic relationships actually start with this kind of deluding experience called the love bombing phase.

In this episode, let’s talk about how the brain works when we are in love and how, as proven by Science, it can be compared to drug addiction. More importantly, let us journey together as we figure out how we can become better navigators of our own thought processes so that we can make better decisions in our relationships. 

Healing Points of This Episode:

  • Understanding how our brain works when we are in love is necessary to identify patterns and to recognize red flags. 
  • Excessive love can sometimes lead to manipulation and gaslighting. 
  • Just because a person makes you feel extremely loved doesn’t mean they will not take advantage of your vulnerability. 
  • Learning how to identify the telltale signs of love bombing may be helpful, if not necessary, in relationships. 

Words of Healing::

  • “Of course, I like you. It's because I like you that I don't wanna be with you.” – Quoted by Regina Marie from the movie, Finding Nemo
  • “You need to understand your wiring in order to rewire yourself.” – Quoted from the book, Ghosted and Breadcrumbed by Dr. Marni Feuerman
  • “The highs are so high that we've learned to cope with the low.”  – Quoted from the book, Ghosted and Breadcrumbed by Dr. Marni Feuerman

Resources Mentioned:

Click this link for the full show notes:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fh9EMTblBB7qklyBf-1nLWxR5qpZpdGfL4p-W7z3iTo/edit?usp=sharing

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