My Healing Village

Cognitive Dissonance From a Psychological Perspective (PART 2) | Kerry McAvoy

Regina Marie Season 1 Episode 14

What does being authentic mean to you? How can you say that you're 100% true to yourself? 

Jean-Paul Sartre, a French philosopher, proposed that authenticity is essential to achieving freedom and living a meaningful life. Only if we embrace and take responsibility for who we truly are can we live with peace, knowing that we don’t have to hide behind pretensions or lies. 

Unfortunately, some people cannot keep their sense of self intact and are impelled to deceive others by living a double life. In the process of hiding behind a mask, and with the goal of keeping it on for as long as possible, they eventually become manipulative, narcissistic abusers. How exhausting that kind of life must be. Ever wondered why and how they do that?

In part 2 of my conversation with Kerry McAvoy, she continues to explain the intentions behind narcissistic traits and behaviors. She also shares more signs and red flags to look out for so that we avoid falling into common baits and pitfalls. By understanding it from a psychological perspective, it is my hope that we can all learn further and expose the abusers’ playbook together!        

Healing Points of This Episode:

  • Narcissists see the world competitively and not collaboratively. It is not your fault that they see you as a threat to their survival. And it is not your fault that you have trusted them. The shame belongs to them, not you. 
  • Time will eventually reveal the kind of person we truly are. 
  • Sometimes you are so focused on finding “the one”, without realizing that you are enough – you are that one person you truly need to be genuinely happy. 
  • You have “super traits” and awesome qualities that narcissists would intentionally use against you. Protect those traits, hold on to them, and never forget your true worth as a person.  

Words of Healing

  • “You need the whole 360 picture of this person; that will help you to know if it's authentic. And time, time's always your best friend.” – Kerry McAvoy 
  • “Always know that you are enough. And if [the relationship] goes wrong, you can survive it. This allows you to be both intimately involved, but also not so invested that you're broken if it breaks up.” – Kerry McAvoy 
  • “We can go into just dating or in a relationship without thinking they're ‘the one.” – Regina Marie 
  • “If you come into a relationship knowing ‘I'm enough. I am good. I like who I am. I don't need other people to fix, define, or fill me up’ then when these things come along or it isn't as what we hope it to be, we're still okay.” – Kerry McAvoy

Click this link for the full show notes:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zLBz7OlQfKem7hKVwnHVSm7hGDH1pckw3kqrkGbZqks/edit?usp=sharing

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